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Where this actually comes from
Turns out it's not just an internet rumour. University of Massachusetts, 2017, food scientist named Lili He. Coated apples in two pesticides, phosmet and thiabendazole. Washed batches three ways, plain water, EPA-approved bleach, baking soda and water.
The bleach lost.
Baking soda stripped almost all the phosmet off within two minutes. Full 12 to 15 minutes and it cleared the thiabendazole too, beat both the water and the bleach. Pesticide already soaked under the peel, stayed there, nothing touched that part.
This was apples though. Not spinach, not broccoli, not grapes, not peaches. Nobody's tested this on what I actually wash every week.
Plain water, for comparison
The dirt on the back of spinach leaves, the grime in broccoli's crevices, the white bloom on grapes, the fuzz on peaches, plain water can't handle any one of them, most primitive, also most useless.
Testing it on spinach and broccoli
Tried the same ratio from the study, teaspoon of baking soda, two cups of cold water, full 12 to 15 minutes. Both came out soft, a bit yellow at the edges, mine went from bright green to this sad khaki colour. Did it again on the next batch, this time only 3 minutes, held up fine.
Testing it on grapes and peaches
Tougher skin, held up better with the full soak. Grit and bloom on the grapes still needed an actual rub though, baking soda alone didn't lift it. Salt grains scrape peach skin, grape skin, split one grape completely just from rubbing it between my fingers, juice everywhere.
Veggie wash, for comparison
Removing pesticide residue is its selling point, but the chemical residue that doesn't rinse clean, especially unfriendly to something thin-leafed like spinach, something with crevices like broccoli. Used it a few times and then didn't dare use it anymore, my spinach smelled faintly of the bottle even after three rinses.
What I do now
Short soak, 3 minutes, for spinach and broccoli. Full 12 to 15 for grapes and peaches. Proper rinse under running water after, every time.
None of it gets anything back to zero. Even in the original study, pesticide already under the apple's skin stayed there no matter what they used.